Have you ever gone to a doctors appointment that you felt would just be a waste of time?
Thats how I felt last Wednesday as I drove alone from Sacramento to San Francisco to an appointment for a symptom management clinic. I felt perhaps I had been referred because I was a "bad patient", someone who could not handle chemo well (which I acknowledge to be true some of the time).
I sat in the waiting room filling out the survey of my symptoms and emotional state, waiting the obligatory hour at UCSF (the only negative I have found in their service), I got to the last question on the form referring to my cancer treatment, "sense of peace". I put that I am 100% at peace, because I am. You've all read why on this blog. But I wondered if they would believe me.
I've quit wearing a wig very often and have sort of gotten used to the funny looks that a scarf and a hat get when I got out in public. But as I walked into the consult, it was my turn to try and disguise the surprise. The doctor was missing his left arm below the elbow and his left leg.
I wanted to ask why but I didn't.
Suddenly the appointment took on another light. I perceived him to be more compassionate (after all, he has suffered) and I listened very carefully to all he had to say. He introduced himself by his first name and then he carefully listened to all of my sufferings. One by one, down the list.
One person sat and listened to all that I had been going through. It was an overall assessment of my care. After listening, he did some teaching (I need to walk more, among other things) and then changed my meds, wrote my some new Rx and gave me hope that I could get through the last 2 chemos.
The social worker participated for part of the appointment and as she left she said to me, "I can't get over the peace you have in this process. We just don't see that." The doctor, indicating the kleenex box in the middle of his table said, "most people don't get through this interview, I can see that your faith and the support of your friends, family and church have done a lot for you".
100% at peace. Yup, they believed me.
after chemo, but Bob has been making the time to go with me for 2 short walks a day.
Since I'm not drinking much coffee these days, part of my morning routine is making ice. I need my drinks to be cold to tolerate them, so each morning I pop out the trays and fill new ones.
When my kids were in high school, they went away to boarding school because the city we lived in (in Trujillo, Peru) did not have an adequate place to prepare them for university in the US. I missed them a lot, but usually really never went more than about seven weeks without seeing them. Along the way they picked up some good recipes from the mom in the dorm where they lived (they lived in the same dorm, being brother and sister). This granola recipe is one of them.
